What Would You Do For Your Children?

[Reading Time: 4 – 6 minutes]

It is one of the greatest experiences in the history of mankind. At no other time do I feel so alive and connected.

I am not one of those moms who thinks her kids are the greatest, can do no wrong, walk on water. They are not. Seriously, they are human.

I am one of those moms who loves spending time with her kids because they are the greatest, funny, clever, quick with a comeback. They have been taught well.

Dinnertime with the kids, my kids, has got to be one of the most unique experiences anyone would have the pleasure of having. Strange at first, and then you are lulled into a sense of calm and serenity followed by pee your pants, fall on the floor laughter and awe. Hey, the kids’ friends do return. They seem to actually like having dinner at our house. It could be the food, but I am not that great of a cook. 

I would do anything for you, dear …

I would love to say I am one of those moms who would do anything for her children. I would do most anything, but mostly I am quite selfish. I’m a big girl, I can admit I am not perfect.

Dining room table, eating dinner. Mom at one end Dwayne (step-dad) at the other. Stephen (son) sits to the right of Mom and Amanda (daughter) sits to the left.

The conversation:

Dwayne: {in between bites of food} I was listening to the radio today {pause to chew} And there was this woman talking about how she gave all of this stuff to charity {another pause}

Mom: {makes talking motion with hand and laughs}

Amanda: {looks at mom, then at Dwayne, laughs}

Dwayne: The host said that she sounded like a very giving person. Then the woman went on and on about how she is so selfless and giving. She would do anything for anyone. She started talking about how she is so close to her daughter, too. Her daughter and her are “best friends”. {He then turns his head to the right and starts yelling} You cannot be best friends with your child. She is your child!

Mom: Who are you yelling at?

Dwayne: The thought. {smiles}

Amanda: Mom is one of my best friends.

Dwayne: She is your mom. She can’t be your friend.

Amanda: Sure, she’s my best mom.

Mom: {smiles} I think what Amanda is trying to say is that she is not completely embarrassed to be seen with me in a public setting.

Amanda: Sure.

Stephen: {mutters something unintelligible}

The kids start to clear the table and Dwayne and Mom are alone in the dining room, briefly.

Mom: I would never say I would do anything for my kids.

Dwayne: I know. You’re not like other woman who have a martyr complex.

Mom: It’s not that. I would like to think I would do anything for my kids. Truth is, I know I there are things I would not do. I would take a bullet for them. At least I would want to.

Amanda and Stephen enter the dining room.

Mom: I would probably be too surprised to move, though, so they would have to jump behind me. Then I would take a bullet for them. {pauses} I guess I would have to put on a bit more weight. {looks at Amanda} See, this is why I have to eat so much. It is out of love for you. One day I can say ‘Take cover! Just jump behind my fat ass. I will protect you!’

Dwayne: {laughs and almost spits out his food}

Amanda: {standing up and jumping around} I got it. I got it. This is why there is so much obesity in the world. People are just protecting their children!

Disclaimer: This was an actual conversation had during an actual family dinner at my house. We found this to be quite humorous and hope you will, too. If you took offense to this, then you are taking things a bit too seriously as no offense was meant. Remember, you can choose to not read my ramblings at any time.